Prop Us Up on Our Leaning Side

“A pastor of a small church would occasionally call on one gentleman to pray, and every time this one particular guy would pray, he would end with the strangest statement, “And, oh Lord, prop us up on our leaning side.”

Finally, the pastor pulled him aside, and he said, “I love the way you pray, but I don’t understand your little closing phrase. What are you talking about – prop us up on our leaning side?” He responded, “Well, Pastor, I’m a farmer. I live out on the farm and, you know, I live in the country. I’ve got an old barn, and it’s been there a long time. It’s been through a lot of weather, and a lot of storms, and a lot of bugs have eaten at it.” 

He said, “I got to looking at it one day when I was riding on my tractor, and I noticed that it was leaning to one side. So I thought to myself, oh my goodness! The barn is leaning, and it’s a matter of time before the whole thing falls. 

He continued, “So, you know what I did? I went and got some pine beams, and I propped it up on its leaning side.” He said, “It still leans, and probably always will. But I propped it up on its leaning side. And it’s not going to fall down because I propped it up on its leaning side. And I got to thinking about it. 

When I was on the tractor, Pastor, and I was riding in the field, I thought about the kind of year I’ve had, and some of the storms I’ve been through, and some of the people that are bugging me, and eating away at my joy and eating away at my spirit. And I just got to thinking, you know, I’m still here! I’m still standing after all that stuff I’ve been through. The storms, and the howling winds – they couldn’t topple me. I’m still standing by the grace of God.”

He concluded, “From time to time, I find myself leaning. Leaning toward my old desires, leaning toward anger, leaning toward becoming bitter or hateful at the people who are bugging me, or leaning toward going back to the old habits and the old life I used to have. And when I feel myself start to lean toward that tendency, I just remember that old barn, and I pray out loud - "Lord, thank you for propping me up on the leaning side." 

- Jentezen Franklin

Prayer in Infirmity

O most mighty and most merciful God,
who, though thou have taken me off of my feet ,
hast not taken me off of my foundation, which is thyself;
who, though thou have removed me from that upright form
in which I could stand and see thy throne, the heavens,
yet has not removed from me that light
by which I can lie and see thyself;
who though thou have weakened my bodily knees,
that they cannot bow to thee,
hast yet left me the knees of my heart,
which are bowed unto thee evermore;
as thou hast made this bed thine altar,
make me thy sacrifice,
and as thou make us thy son Jesus Christ the priest,
so make me his Deacon,
to minister to him
in a cheerful surrender of my body and soul
to thy pleasure,
by his hands.

-- John Donne, from Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions III (1624), from Glorious Companions: Five Centuries of Anglican Spirituality, 2002

Image: Window fromTrinity Episcopal Church, Tulsa OK.

In Him Confiding

Sometimes a light surprises
     A Christian while he sings;
It is the Lord who rises
     With healing on His wings.
When comforts are declining
     He grant the soul again
A season of clear shining,
To cheer it after the rain.

In holy contemplation
     We sweetly then pursue
The theme of God's salvation,
     and find it ever new.
Set free from present sorrow,
     We cheerfully can say,
Let the unknown to-morrow
     Bring with it what it may.

It can bring with it nothing
     But He will bear us through;
Who gives the lilies,
     Will clothe His people too.
Beneath the spreading heavens
     No creation but is fed;
And he who feeds the ravens
     Will give his children bread.

Though vine nor fig tree neither
     Their wonted fruit should bear,
Though all the fields should wither,
     Nor flocks nor herds be there;
Yet God the same abiding,
     His praise shall tune my voice;
For while in Him confiding,
     I cannot but rejoice.

--William Cowper (1731-1800), English poet and hymnwriter, friend of John Newton, and influence on English Romantic poets

Allusion to Luke 12:22-32 in stanza 3; Isaiah 34:4 in stanza 4

The Best of It

However carved up
or pared down we get
we keep on making
the best of it as though
it doesn't matter that
our acre's down to a square foot. As
though our garden
could be one bean
and we'd rejoice if
it flourishes, as
though one bean
could nourish us.

--Kay Ryan (1945- ), US poet laureate 2008-2009



Photo: Detail of Walter Ufer's Hunger.

Good Bones

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.
Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine
in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,
a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways
I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least
fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative
estimate, though I keep this from my children.
For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.
For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,
sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world
is at least half terrible, and for every kind
stranger, there is one who would break you,
though I keep this from my children. I am trying
to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real shithole, chirps on
about good bones: This place could be beautiful,
right? You could make this place beautiful.

--Maggie Smith, 2016

The Weighing

The heart’s reasons
seen clearly,
even the hardest
will carry
its whip-marks and sadness
and must be forgiven.

As the drought-starved
eland forgives
the drought-starved lion
who finally takes her,
enters willingly then
the life she cannot refuse,
and is lion, is fed,
and does not remember the other.

So few grains of happiness
measured against all the dark
and still the scales balance.

The world asks of us
only the strength we have and we give it.
Then it asks more, and we give it.

-- Jane Hirshfield (1953- ), American, from The October Palace, 1994

Lion and eland face off, from Africa Geographic.