Someone Who Loves Me

Could I rest here for a while
Near that medal 'round your neck
St. Jude's wearing a smile
He wouldn't mind I bet

I can't go face the world
My bones won't hold me up
So tell the saint of lost souls where to find me
Softly sleepin' here in the deep end of someone who loves me

You'll let me cry it out
'Cause you know that sometimes I can't stop
And still I'm seeking how
To stand up when the bottom drops

The weight of all the world
Can blind me to its beauty
But every time I need to be reminded
I know you will, and say you're still someone who loves me

I try to push it down
But it comes back faster and harder
Tides are changing on a dime
And I'm just trying to keep my head above the water

Surrender's just a word
'Til you try it out
And see how hard it is to hurt
With someone else around

I'm the worst I've ever been
Afraid of almost everything
The skies are clear but storms are always comin'
Your gift to me
Is just to be
Bracing for the winds I always summon
My home, my heart
Thank God you are
Someone who loves me

--Sara Bareilles, from her album Amidst the Chaos (2019)

The Weight of the World

You wanna take it off
It’s the weight of the world
You want to set it free
Just for today
Can’t always be the one
To heal everything
And the weight of the world
Was never yours to keep

You can spend so many days
Trying to make the darkness go away
But it’s the weight of the world
It’s the curse of the worldly ways
Can’t keep it inside
So go on just let it out
It’s the weight of the world
If you ever had a doubt

You wanna take it off
‘Cause it makes your body hurt
It’s the weight of the world
It was never really yours
Can’t keep it inside
Oh, you know you gotta set it free
‘Cause the weight of the world
Was never yours to keep

No, it don't belong to you,
It was never yours to keep,
It's the weight of the world,
And you've gotta set it free

--Kat Goldman, sung by Dar Williams

In honor of the 11 dead and the wounded at the Anti-Semitic  mass murder at Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, PA, on October 27, 2018.

Jeremiah

call me Jeremiah

Jeremiah said the Lord

call me and I'll show you

great and mighty

things you have not seen

--words from Jeremiah 33:3, from the album Zero Church by Maggie and Suzzy Roche, 2001

The Dreaming Fields

Oh, the sun rolls down, big as a miracle
And fades from the Midwest Sky
And the corn and the trees wave in the breeze
As if to say goodbye

Oh, my grandfather stood right here as a younger man
In nineteen and forty three
And with the sweat and his tears, the rain and the years
He grew life from the soil and seed

Oh I'm goin' down to the dreaming fields
But what will be my harvest now?
Where every tear that falls on a memory
Feels like rain on the rusted plow
Rain on the rusted plow

And these fields they dream of wheat in the summertime
Grandchildren running free
And the bales of hay at the end of the day
And the scarecrow that just scared me

Now the houses they grow like weeds in a flower bed
This morning the silo fell
Seems the only way a man can live off the land
These days is to buy and sell

So I'm goin' down to the dreaming fields
But what will be my harvest now?
Where every tear that falls on a memory
Feels like rain on the rusted plow
Rain on the rusted plow

Oh, the sun rolls down, big as a miracle
And fades from the Midwest Sky
And the corn and the trees wave in the breeze
As if to say goodbye
As if to say goodbye

Goodbye....

--Matraca Berg (1964- ), from the album The Dreaming Fields  (2011)

The Beauty of the Rain

And you know the light is fading all too soon
You're just two umbrellas one late afternoon
You don't know the next thing you will say
This is your favorite kind of day
It has no walls, the beauty of the rain
Is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls

And there's nothing wrong, but there is something more
And sometimes you wonder what you love her for
She says you've known her deepest fears
Cause she's shown you a box of stained-glass tears
It can't be all-- the truth about the rain
Is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls

But when she gave you more to find
You let her think she'd lost her mind
And that's all on you
Feeling helpless if she asked for help
Or scared you'd have to change yourself

And you can't deny this room will keep you warm
You can look out of your window at the storm
But you watch the phone and hope it rings
You'll take her any way she sings,
Or how she calls, the beauty of the rain
Is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls
How it falls, how it falls, how it falls

--Dar Williams (1968- )

Jericho

You can't see me yet
Seeing takes a long, long time
From the outside in
Measuring each shift and sigh

But as you let your eyes adjust
To the darkness deep within
Sifting through the ash and dust
We are the places that we've been

You can't hear me yet
Listening takes a long, long time
And I've so much to tell
But words die on these lips of mine

But in the stillness you may sense
Every thing I long to say
Unraveling like golden threads
The walls will all come down this way

You don't know me yet
Knowing takes a long, long time
And time is all we have
Never traveling in straight lines

So memorize each turn and twist
Just be careful as you go
For if love is a labyrinth
Then my heart is Jericho

--Mary Chapin Carpenter (1958- ), from the album Ashes and Roses (2012). Chapin's notes about this song can be found here.

Scriptural reference: Joshua 2:1-6:27.

Playing to the Firmament

There are kids, lots of kids, who put the law inside a circle
As they jump, I hope that you will up and down, up and down
When did you cave into this role that you were cast in
When did dress-up turn to fashion, throw your gown up and down

There's always the sky, let it hear what you're saying
For all that you are saying
And let it take you apart, to the elements of praying
Till we are only playing to the firmament
Till we are only playing to the firmament

In the rain, in the rain, people rush around on cold streets
Here's a shell to hear their heartbeats very loud, very loud
Where's the pain, it's only rain, it's only slowing down a work day
Only singing happy birthday to a crowd, very loud

So turn on the sky, let it hear what you're saying
For all that you are saying
And let it take you apart, to the elements of praying
Till we are only playing to the firmament
Till we are only playing to the firmament

And when did sex get so mean, when did crime get so clean
You know I just can't seem to find the soul in this striving
Why not play to a dream, cause the world is too green
For all this bad driving

What's the rush, dip your brush into this twilight
There are leaves upon the skylight- trace your hand, trace your hand
Old Mr. Red, he shot ahead he shot ahead inside a circle
On a bad day who would you kill? Take a stand, trace your hand

There's always the sky, let it hear what you're saying
For all that you are saying
And let it take you apart, to the elements of praying
Till we are only playing to the firmament
Till we are only playing to the firmament

Dar Williams (1968 - ), from the album The Green World (2012)
This song makes me think of Psalm 19.

Anthem

The birds they sang
At the break of day
Start again I heard them say
Don't dwell on what
Has passed away
Or what is yet to be
Yeah the wars they will
Be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again
Bought and sold
And bought again
The dove is never free

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in

We asked for signs
The signs were sent
The birth betrayed
The marriage spent
Yeah the widowhood
Of every government
Signs for all to see
I can't run no more
With that lawless crowd
While the killers in high places
Say their prayers out loud 
But they've summoned, they've summoned up
A thundercloud
And they're going to hear from me

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in

You can add up the parts
You won't have the sum
You can strike up the march
There is no drum
Every heart, every heart to love will come
But like a refugee

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in


--Leonard Cohen (1934-2016), Canadian songwriter and poet, 1992

Burns' Supper

Oh you speak the words locked in my breast
But it's late for me, let an old man rest
One more black and tan on the barricade
To keep me safe from loving
When I close my eyes, close my eyes
To the cold flame of the Northern Lights
When I close my eyes, close my eyes
And I see you still in the shuttered night

What a new-found friend is honesty
To see ourselves as others see
To see the shy boy inside the man
Is that all I am? Just starved of loving

When I close my eyes, I close my eyes
To the cold flame of the Northern Lights
When I close my eyes, close my eyes
And I see you still in the shuttered night

--Richard Thompson, from the album "You? Me? Us?" 1996
Cover by Annie Savoy and Linda Ronstadt from the album "Adieu False Heart"

I Am The One Who Will Remember Everything

Oh what have we here, he must be three or four,
Shaken out of a boot on its way back to war
And he’s not looking for a father or a mother,
Just a seven year old brother,
On this smudged line border camp of refugees,

I am the one who will remember everything.
I am the one who will remember everything.

So where are we now, he must be five or six,
Just running around, hungry kids, sharpened sticks.
And he will grow with pain and fear and jealousy,
Taken in by schools of zealotry,
Who train orphans to make orphans evermore.

I am the one who will remember everything.
I am the one who will remember everything.
I am the one who will remember everything.
I am the one who will remember everything.


You drink the smoke, you ride the noise
You drink the smoke, you ride the noise,
And you say it’s necessary,
And you forget the ordinary
But I say, on the wheel of time,
Scour the Earth and find the
Orphans of forgetting, all the orphans of forgetting,
Give them stars for math and praise for good play,
Here’s a Band-Aid, happy birthday,
Yes of course I did remember,
I remember everything.


Oh come over here, kid we’ve got all these books to read,
With the turtles and frogs, cats and dogs who civilize the centuries,
And in a world that’s angry, cruel and furious,
There’s this monkey who’s just curious,
Floating high above a park with bright balloons.
I am the one who will remember everything.
I am the one who will remember everything.
I am the one who will remember everything.
I am the one who will remember everything.
Everything… 

-- Dar Williams, In the Time of Gods,  2012

 

Fragile

If blood will flow when flesh and steel are one
Drying in the colour of the evening sun
Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay
Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetime's argument
That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are
On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star, like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are, how fragile we are
On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star, like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are, how fragile we are
How fragile we are, how fragile we are.

--Gordon Sumner (Sting),  Nothing Like the Sun, 1987

New Year's Day

We are sitting at a table in a bar in Baltimore
It's the last night of December
And the room is nearly full
And the front door pulls a draft in every time it opens wide
And you are telling me a story
From another time and life

And the waitress brings our order
And we're tucked in mighty close
And I feel like we belong among
The living and these ghosts
And I know that I am dreaming
As I memorize each part
In the telling lies a reverie
In the details lie the heart

Like the folds of summer dresses
Like the scent upon my wrist
Like the way you played guitar
Like a boxer punches with his fist
And taken or just lost to me
It's better now to say
I dwell in possibility
On New Year's Day

There's a jukebox or a bandstand
And we're on another round
And the night's just getting started
Or the night's just winding down
And your stories are not clouded yet by the ale
Or by the gin
They just make me feel as if I've known you
All my life again

Like the folds of summer dresses
Like the scent upon my wrist
Like the way you played guitar
Like a boxer punches with his fist
And taken or just lost to me
It's better now to say
I dwell in possibility
On New Year's Day

And this is what it looked like
When we started walking home
The night sky bleached to silver
Against the city's bones
In dreams or in our waking
It's just enough to say
Love and grace and endless flowers
Be ours on New Year's Day

And the folds of summer dresses
And the bangles on my wrist
And the way you played guitar
Like a boxer punches with his fist
And taken or just lost to us
It's better now to say
We dwell in possibility
On New Year's Day

--Mary Chapin Carpenter, Ashes and Roses, 2012

Deep, Deep Down Heart

How do you know what you know
because you've seen it with your eyes?
How do you know where to go,
how to identify your guides?
How do you see what was next
In your palm or a show of cards?
How do you learn to detect
The outlines of a scar?

Now the sky holds the night,
As the trees hold the shade.
And the road holds the map
Of every journey I've made.
And the clouds hold the sigh
Of the wind and the rain
In my deep, deep down heart...
My deep, deep down heart.


Now these wheels go so fast
There is nothing here to hold;
I keep pushing back the past
So that the future can unfold.
I guess the best of my mistakes
Show me all that I don't know.
But this strange kind of ache
Never seems to let me go.


And the sky holds the night,
And the trees hold the shade,
And the stars hold the light
That's traveled all this way.
But who holds my hand
So I am not afraid
In my deep, deep down heart
My deep, deep down heart?


I thought I heard my name
Walking late tonight
From the porch after the rain
In this rowing down the light.
There was no one standing there
Beyond the lantern's cast,
But just voices in the air
But just questions that ask,


How the sky holds the night?
How the trees hold the shade?
How your sleep holds your dreams
Till they shake you awake?
And how love holds you up
And then to chooses to break
Your deep, deep down heart...
Your deep, deep down heart?

--Mary Chapin Carpenter, The Things That We Are Made Of, 2016

 

Change

If you knew that you would die today
If you saw the face of God and Love
Would you change?
Would you change?
If you knew that love can break your heart
When you're down so low you cannot fall
Would you change?
Would you change?
How bad how good does it need to get?
How many losses how much regret?
What chain reaction
What cause and effect
Makes you turn around
Makes you try to explain
Makes you forgive and forget
Makes you change
Makes you change
If you knew that you would be alone
Knowing right being wrong
Would you change?
Would you change?
If you knew that you would find a truth
That brings a pain that can't be soothed
Would you change?
Would you change?
How bad how good does it need to get?
How many losses how much regret?
What chain reaction
What cause and effect
Makes you turn around
Makes you try to explain
Makes you forgive and forget
Makes you change
Makes you change
Are you so upright you can't be bent
if it comes to blows
Are you so sure you won't be crawling
If not for the good why risk falling
Why risk falling
If everything you think you know
Makes your life unbearable
Would you change?
Would you change?
If you'd broken every rule and vow
And hard times come to bring you down
Would you change?
Would you change?
If you knew that you would die today
If you saw the face of God and Love
Would you change?
Would you change?

--Tracy Chapman, Where You Live, 2005 

 

Sand and Water

All alone, I didn't like the feeling
All alone, I sat and cried
All alone, I had to find some meaning
In the center of the pain I felt inside.

All alone, I came into this world
All alone, I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water and a million years gone by.

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave.

All alone, I heal this heart of sorrow

All alone I raise this child
Flesh and bone, he's just bursting towards tomorrow
And his laughter fills my world and wears your smile.

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave.

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water and a million years gone by.

--Beth Nielsen Chapman, Sand and Water, 1997

Every December Sky

Every December sky
Must lose its faith in leaves
And dream of the spring inside the trees.
How heavy the empty heart,
How light the heart that's full.
Sometimes I have to trust what I can't know
Sometimes I have to trust what I can't know.

We walk into Paradise;
The angels lend us shoes.
'Cause all that we own,
We'll come to lose,
And Heaven is not so far
Outside this womb of words.
With every rose that blooms
My soul is assured
It's just like a song I've known
Yet still unheard.

And every leaf of fire lets go,
Melting in the arms of earth and snow.
And if I could hold you now,
You'd enter like a sigh.
You'd be the wind that blows
The answer to "why?"
You'd be the spring-filled trees
Of every December sky.

--Beth Nielsen Chapman, Deeper Still, 2002